How can I get my boyfriend to be a bit more affectionate? I've tried talking to him in a rational way, which seemed to work for a while, but then it seems to have slipped back into a pattern of piss-taking and lack of affection...so I get upset and it feels like I nag him, then he gets fed up of me being so needy and wimpering at him. And all the while I'm thinking "Is it really that he isn't affectionate enough, or will no human being ever be enough for me?"
I got to thinking that maybe your first boyfriend or girlfriend influence the way you are in a relationship more than people care to admit...for instance, my first two serious boyfriends were very touchy feely, and liked to kiss lots in public and in private. Since then I haven't had that level of affection, and have always nagged for it and come across needy. But is this just because that was my first experience of a relationship? And my boyfriend, his first serious girlfriend was one of his best mates, and their relationship was matey.
So is he like he is because of how his first girlfriend was happy being? And am I so emotionally demanding because my first boyfriend gave me so much? And if so, how the fuck do I break the cycle of needing and thus pushing away and thus needing even more? This is doing my head in, I don't feel like a normal person, I need some super-human to satisfy my needs....but my boyfriend just can't seem to understand that now mum's gone and i hardly ever see dad, he is my only source of affection....to have a whole chunk of unconditional love and affection taken away from you is something indescribably sad, and I guess I'm still getting used to not having someone sitting at home ready to cuddle me even if i don't ask for it. How do you get over that?
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